


Insecurity

by SpeckledAspen



Series: Aspens Haikyuu Angst Week [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji Needs a Hug, Angst, Gen, Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, Hurt No Comfort, Insecurity, Overthinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27346972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpeckledAspen/pseuds/SpeckledAspen
Summary: TW// Nonethis is for @hqangstweek on twitter.Day 2; Insecurity#HaikyuuAngstWeek2020A set that doesn’t reach their spikers hand. That is a setter's greatest fear.
Series: Aspens Haikyuu Angst Week [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997062
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	Insecurity

A set that doesn’t reach their spikers hand. That is a setter's greatest fear.

Sometimes Akaashi’s thoughts overwhelmed him. They consumed him and his entire being, dragging him down towards the despair inside him that he couldn’t seem to rid of. 

It’s not like he had any admirable traits anyways. He wasn’t a naturally gifted setter like Kageyama, he wasn’t extraordinarily talented like Atsumu and he certainly didn’t have Kenma’s genius tactics. He was just boring, nothing special about him. 

Another self-pitying thought, another set that didn’t reach his spikers hands. 

He was distracted and tearing the team down. How would he be able to play in an official match if he couldn’t even focus in a practice one? He needed to pull himself together or he would be substituted off, though maybe that would be better for the team. Anahori would be able to play if he went off which would give the first year more experience for an actual game.

One more set that didn’t reach it’s target. 

Akaashi wasn’t surprised when the coach switched him out for Anahori. He mentally cursed himself for not being better, for not playing better. If it weren’t for Washio, Onaga and Komi on the defensive holding their team together, the practice match probably would have ended already. He deserved to be switched out.

-

The silence on the way back was suffocating. Akaashi couldn’t seem to escape his thoughts, couldn’t shut them down like he normally would. They just kept eating him alive. The practice match had finished with Fukurodani taking the third and final set, winning the match without Akaashi, proving he wasn’t necessary to the team’s success and that thought was spiralling in his mind.

If he wasn’t needed then why keep playing, he was just being a burden. Even with Bokuto’s mood swings, at least he was a powerful weapon when in a good mindset. Akaashi, on the other hand, was no such thing. He didn’t offer anything special.

Akaashi was so lost in thought that he didn’t even notice when Bokuto swapped to the seat beside him until he started speaking. 

“C’mon Akaashi! You’re no big baby like me! You always manage to pull yourself together and give the best tosses!” Bokuto’s words flowed so easily out of his mouth but how could he place such a burden on him? To be able to pull himself together so easily? Akaashi was only human, yet it seemed nobody understood that.

“Bokuto-san don’t say that. It’s not fair for you to expect so much from me!” Akaashi hadn’t meant for the words to come out as a soft sob, but they did and were soon followed by a few tears that managed to slip from his eyes, only to be quickly wiped up with the sleeve of his jacket. Bokuto was at a loss for words. He had expected Akaashi to cheer up at what he said but seemed to do the exact opposite, so he just sat in silence, processing the words.

Not even a few minutes later, the bus came to a halt at the school and allowed the team to get off. 

As Akaashi exited the bus he turned to Bokuto with a smile that didn’t reach eyes. “I’m sorry that I’m not perfect Bokuto-san, I’ll try harder next time. I swear.” And with that, Akaashi began to walk down the street toward the direction of his house, skipping the team debrief they were having afterwards, unable to face his teammates in fear of how they would look at him after letting them down so much.

After all, a set that doesn’t reach their spiker’s hand is a setter's greatest fear.

**Author's Note:**

> Day two is done! I'm not really too proud of this one but yknow, I got the rest of the week to make up for it. Be sure to check my twitter @speckledaspen !


End file.
